The nature of issues is that they keep us separate from each other, but when we talk about them, it can bring us back together.

If we're willing to put it on the table and share our own personal experience, I find that people are coming together in this shared experience. We provide support for each other for letting it go and finding the freedom. 

Recently I had dinner with a friend of mine. We were talking about what issues would be interesting to talk about, and she said, “oh, you have to do jealousy.” And I said, “oh, that's interesting. Why?” And she said, “it's so much fun. It's so interesting.” Because how we deal with that issue can lead to all sorts of creative behavior.

I've come across many different ways of talking about jealousy.

There's kind of a benign version of it, ‘benign envy’ is the technical term, which is really more like an admiration. You see someone that you admire, and they have a quality of which you feel you are in lack. You want to get closer to them. You want to know how they did it. You want to run in that circle.

It doesn't necessarily lead to problems. It's just a recognition in yourself that there's something there that you admire. It does come from lack and that's why it’s a jealousy thing. When it turns malicious there's a sense of injustice to it.

“That person shouldn't be getting that. Why are they getting that, and not me? That's not fair.” That’s the difference between jealousy and envy. Whereas jealousy is, “I want to have what someone else has.” Envy is more, “I want to be that person.” 

When you read novels and watch the television shows the villains are very often driven by this kind of jealousy- envy. I can be very destructive. How one turns it around is by recognizing that it's really about you. It's never about the other person or their situation.

It's a hard issue to avoid these days because of social media and television- it's everywhere. People are projecting these versions of themselves that are polished and perfect.

We're even losing a sense of what life is like. Jealousy is not new, but it gets colored by the times that you live in and the crowd that you run with. I think jealousy is more primal than we think, because it has to do with where our status is in life. Money, your job, your social standing. These can be life or death situations. 

Gossip is kind of a malicious expression of jealousy.

Gossip can be addicting is because it makes the gossiper feel better about themselves. Gossip and jealousy crave information, story and details. You can sit back and you can comment on it and take a position of power and control.

I don't think anyone is immune to jealousy. It doesn't mean we have to behave badly. And it can be very useful. If we're going to talk about jealousy, I should share a story. And of course we have to go back to high school. 

My high school, as many are, was very cliquey. Of course, you had the popular girls, and they were all beautiful and they had perfect feathered hair. That wasn't my crowd. A lot of those girls were people I really didn't like. They were sort of superficial and mean. But the one that everyone kind of centered around, the most popular girl, her name was Suzanne. She was a really nice person, and I admired her. I remember wanting to try to get close to her, to be in her buzz zone. She was always very nice to me. We weren't friends because I couldn't run with that crowd. I just didn't have what it took.

I remember noting the difference between this really nice person, who I admired and was jealous of, and the crowd that surrounded her that were far more protective of their social standing. They were quick to put others down, but she wasn't. And I could sort of feel, that admiration of just wanting to be like her, and taking the opportunity to reflect back onto myself where I didn't feel like I could be like her.

I didn't have the tools at that time to really do anything with it. It just sort of spiraled into feeling bad about myself. But you know, there's a difference between that vicious kind of jealousy and the kind that's really very beautiful. That kind of admiration can pull people together. Sometimes that's a foundation for what can become a very genuine friendship. 

I think it’s really difficult for young people today, because the stakes feel so much higher. Whatever you’re doing, you’re doing publicly. All of the issues do come back to self-worth and feeling not so good about yourself in a particular way.

Jealousy is an expression of that.

Social media seems to compensate for where we feel in lack, where we project this image of a more perfect version of ourselves.

And then everyone is comparing themselves to is this image, which is not even real- it's been polished and perfected.

Social media seems to come up in every issue, because it's a way that people manage feelings. It sort of complicates everything. The pain is the same, but the environment does change.

VortexHealing® works with consciousness, not just with energy. It goes into any issue that keeps you in separation. Any place where that is experienced as separateness, divine consciousness meets you there. That is the healing. We think of the healing as just sort of feeling better, and it is, but that place that feels in lack, that feels that it's not whole- that’s a place that's not able to be present. That's where the consciousness element comes in. 

When I do healings, we'll target the issue of jealousy. We bring in the energy that addresses the conditioning, how it shows up in the body and the energy system. Then that consciousness component will meet that part of you that believes that you're less than, and allows it to let go of that story so that it can just be. That's really the awakening part of it. 

Our issues are so noisy and distracting. They generate story, and action, and behavior. If one could really just let that go and have peace. Not just peace as in quiet, but peace as a natural sharing. The expression of flow and play, enjoyment, and recognition of grace.

Our jealousy and our other issues keep us out of that. If we're more present, we can actually enjoy each other and ourselves more, in the moment.

With jealousy, you're comparing yourself in some way to someone else and you come up short, which is where judgments come in. Often we target someone who has our issue, and is not handling it as we are so we can pass judgment about that. It’s a recognition. They’re all connected.